The Night We Called 911: Why Emergency Plans Help

B getting a breathing treatment after their double pneumonia diagnosis on New Year's Day.

There are some moments in life that never leave you. For me, one of those moments happened in the middle of the night on New Year's Day. Our baby, B, was just eight months old at the time. It was around 1:00 a.m. when I noticed something wasn't right. I heard grunting over the baby monitor. I ran to the nursery. B was burning up and struggling to breathe. I called the nurse line, trying to explain what I was hearing.

"Is your baby grunting?" the nurse asked.

"Yes." Her response came immediately. "Call 911."

Everything after that happened in a blur. Within minutes, firefighters, EMTs, and police officers filled our living room. They worked quickly, asking questions every parent dreads in a medical emergency.

What medications does your child take? Any allergies? Medical history? Has this happened before?

One of B's emergencies that led to a hospital stay. At least the kid loved a good fort when admitted.

I answered as best I could, but my mind wasn't working the way it normally does. Adrenaline has a way of stealing your thoughts just when you need them most. As we climbed into the ambulance, I suddenly remembered something that should have been one of the first things I shared. Just months earlier, B had coded at home one night and required my to administer CPR.

The paramedic looked at me and gently said, "That's important information."

He was right and I couldn't believe I had forgotten.

Experience doesn't mean you are always prepared. By that point, I wasn't new to medical emergencies. Our oldest daughter, Halle, had already taught us more about hospitals, specialists, ambulances, and emergency care than most parents will ever experience. By the time B came around, we had already called 911 at least 8 times for Halle and twice for Neeley. Sidenote...Neeley's were more related to her adventureous spirit and desire to flip off furniture (got to love that kid), while Halle's were related to her medical issues (choking, bradycardia, respiartory distress, and allergic reactions to infusions). Note - each kiddo kept us on our toes as they all had many 911 calls after this one.

Because of Halle's complex medical needs, I had carefully created a medical history sheet with her diagnoses, medications, surgeries, allergies, specialists, and emergency information. It stayed in a basket by our front door, ready to grab if we ever needed it. I kept copies in the car, at school, and updated it whenever something changed.

But in the whirlwind of caring for another medically complex child, I had never created one for B. I assumed I would remember everything. I didn't. That night taught me one of the most important lessons of my caregiving journey: Every child deserves their own emergency plan.

The episode with B taught me emergencies don't always give you time to think. People often imagine that emergency preparedness is about hurricanes, snowstorms, or house fires and sometimes it is. But many of our emergencies began with a sudden change in breathing, an allergic reaction or another medical complication that we hadn't anticipated. These emergencies led to a phone call that turned an ordinary night into one we'll never forget.

When you do call 911, things happen rapidly. In those moments, as first responders enter your home in the middle of the night, they don't know what they are coming into. They don't know your child. They don't know what "normal" looks like for them. They don't know their diagnoses, medications, allergies, specialists, or communication style. And as caregivers, we're often trying to answer those questions while experiencing one of the most frightening moments of our lives.

That's why preparation matters. Not because we expect emergencies. Okay, well the Heilmans do...but also because we've learned they rarely arrive with a warning.

One of the most meaningful moments from this entire experience didn't actually happen during an emergency.

It happened while Janine and I were recording an episode of our podcast Strength Happens, where we were sharing these stories and talking about emergency prepardness. As we talked about emergency plans, medical histories, power outages, and preparing for the unexpected, I had an uncomfortable realization.

For years, I had been the keeper of all of my children's medical information. I knew the diagnoses. I knew the medications. I knew the specialists and their contact information. I knew the surgeries, allergies, and hospital histories. If an emergency happened, I was always the one answering the questions.

But now my children are adults.

Neeley is planning a wedding and building her own life. B is becoming more independent and enjoying college. They're navigating adulthood in ways that every parent hopes their children will.

And in the middle of recording this episode, it hit me. I had never really had this conversation with them...as adults. If they had to call 911 today. Would they know exactly what information to give? Would they know their medications and diagnoses? Would they be prepared if I wasn't there?

That realization hit especially hard because I realized, Neeley had an emergency just this past spring, as she experienced severe kidney stone pain while away at college The pain became so intense that she had to call 911. In fact, she had to wait 2 hours for an ambulance (that's a whole other story) and then 15 hours in an ER (again - story for next time), all that lead to being admitted and having surgery to remove the stone. All this happened without me.

As I reflected on that experience while recording this episode, I kept thinking, Did she have everything she needed? Had I prepared her for that moment?

After we finished recording, I sat down and talked to Neeley (she was conveniently home for the Summer). I told her about the realization I had during the podcast and asked if she had ever created an emergency medical summary for herself.

She laughed.

"Mom," she said, "I already have that."

Then she picked up her iPhone and showed me her Medical ID.

There it was, in a digital format. Her diagnoses. Her medications. Her allergies. Her emergency contacts. Everything first responders would need if she couldn't speak for herself. Then she smiled and said something I'll never forget.

"I learned that from you."

She reminded me that growing up she watched me hand doctors and EMTs our family's health histories. She remembered the emergency medical summaries that always sat in the basket by our front door, ready for every ambulance ride and every trip to the emergency room.

"We just do it differently," she told me. "My generation keeps it on our phones."

In that moment, I realized something every parent hopes for. Our children really are watching. Sometimes the lessons we think we forgot to teach have actually been learned over years of simply living them. That doesn't mean the conversation is over.

Medical information changes. Medications change. Emergency contacts change.

So B and I still need to sit down together and review a plan, and Neeley and I are going to make sure her Medical ID stays updated as her health needs evolve.

Emergency preparedness isn't a one-time task. It's a lifelong conversation that changes as our children grow.

Whether your emergency information is in a folder by the front door, in your glove compartment, or on your smartphone, what matters most is that it's accurate, accessible, and ready when every second counts.

That New Year's Day emergency and the realization I had while recording this episode, changed how I think about emergency preparedness.

In our newest episode of Strength Happens, Janine and I share the stories behind the many emergencies our families have experienced, the mistakes we've made, the lessons we've learned over more than two decades of caregiving, and practical strategies every medically complex family can use to prepare for the unexpected.

We talk about prolonged power outages, calling 911, creating Emergency Medical Snapshots, building emergency go bags, working with first responders, and preparing our children to advocate for themselves as they become adults.

Most of all, we hope this conversation helps families feel a little less overwhelmed and a little more confident.

If there's one thing I hope you'll do after reading this, it's take one small step.

• Create an Emergency Medical Snapshot.

• Fill out the Medical ID on your smartphone.

• Review it with your teenager or young adult.

• Have the conversation.

Hopefully you'll never need it. But if you do, you'll be grateful it's already there. Because strength isn't about expecting every emergency. It's about taking one small step today so you're ready for tomorrow.

And if you'd like to hear the stories behind the lessons, we invite you to listen to this week's episode of Strength Happens: "When the Lights Go Out: Emergency Preparedness for Families Raising Children with Medical Needs." We also created a free Emergency Medical Snapshot and Hurricane Preparedness Checklist to help your family get started.

We hope you'll never need either one. But if you do, we hope they make one of life's hardest moments just a little bit easier.